| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2009|08:44 pm] |
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show me the way, livejournal! |
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| thirsty? |
[Jan. 22nd, 2006|11:42 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  predatory | ] |
i am a fine wine.
please sip me accordingly, do not consume me in large gulps.
thank you. |
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| the ground is getting closer and the sky is falling down |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|07:50 pm] |
dear livejournal,
i've started a new project.
chapter 1.
*...I am sitting on the grass outside of her back porch. She stands only to stretch and make amends with the wind. When she sits, finally, she lights a cigarette. I watch it move between her lips as she speaks.*
face is almost back to normal.
since cleaning my room i've found many cds i think i forgot i had. like sunny day real estate. i found all of those, so that was nice. all the music i used to listen to but forgot about.
some of my grades seem to have fallen quite dramatically without even me knowing. my mind was elsewhere i suppose. i will need to do well on my final exams. there are a few i'm a little concerned about, some i'm not very concerned about, and a few i am very concerned about.
it's okay. i'm taking care of it.
i did tonight's homework for my classes..and then did the rest of the homework for my other classes that post the homework for every day of the week. oddly i didn't get that good feeling one gets after finishing a large amount of work. definitely a lack of euphoria.
continued-*...I think about lips probably more than most people. I think about other people’s lips. I think about my own pair. I watch how they move when people talk. I bite my lower one when I’m confused, but also when I’m having an orgasm. I think about their softness, I think about their roughness. I think about their function in overlapping mine.-*
the symptoms of shattering silence with spilling.
time seems to be moving very slowly lately. very slowly. i think it's moving slowly just to spite me. time has a way of playing with people. it often does. we've all seen donnie darko and thought we had an edge over time with our theories of time travel and time's existence in our lives in general. the edge only lasts so long. either that or we simply go a long period of time before seeing the movie again, so the rabbit's clues aren't there to guide us any longer. perhaps my concept of time has changed dramatically because time has passed since i've seen the movie.. or that time has simply passed in great amounts in great generalities, everyone, even me, pointing at the theme of maturity.
plus i own the movie on VHS and haven't had a working VCR in years.
but anyways, the days are passing very slowly.
my mom turned fifty yesterday. we went out to lunch and she brought these jesus pamphlets that someone was handing out and preaching about at some home&garden show the day before.
one reads as follows:
When should you think about Christ?
Right now, before it is too late! Don't be deceived by Satan's lies and man's unbelief. There is a hell, and it
is a terrible place to spend eternity. If you don't think about Christ, you will end up there-- Forever weeping your doom.
....
...
..
.
you were probably expecting something of importance or critical opinion to follow the last period in the sequence above this sentence.
..but i really have nothing more to say. |
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| to sum it all up, i feel like writing |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|11:17 pm] |
i'm feeling very in tune with nature and myself tonight.
there's a giant grey sky unfolded before me
with dark clouds and lengthy winds
scraping thunders and rain full of "sin"
but through it all i see the sun
through it all i see a bright star
a brightness i had only seen as faded for years
underneath the frozen ground
i feel soft green grass
beneath my bare feet
and i could kiss the earth for
this new gift,
a tender closed-mouth kiss
for this new gift.
this new gift of being able to
walk the lawn and breathe. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|08:32 pm] |
let's see..
well i got my senior project finished and turned in. whether or not it's very good, who knows?
but at least i got it done.
i'm very glad that tomorrow is friday, this week, although it's only a 4 day week, has felt very long.
i sort of started talking to my sister again. things seem okay between us but i sense an attitude and don't know why, but then again..these things are always very difficult to judge through the internet.
so far every morning on the way to school and every other chance i get i've been listening to shakira. at first it began as a joke. but i can't deny it or help myself.
i like shakira.
a lot.
hell, i love her.
"We took a leap in the dark
And I can see now
How shadows have turned to light"
see? she's brilliant.
my room is still clean. good job.
in the last 4 days i have seen four dead animals, now "road kill". whenever i drive by one i try to figure out what it used to be.
one time in 6th grade we took one of those "camping trips" that all of the underclassmen look forward to as the big trip thing..though it's never really camping, they put you and the rest of the class in these "cabins" which are really just one room with many bunk beds and a bathroom with showers. anyway, we went on a very long hike once, it was at marin headlands in san fran, and there was a dead squirrel on the ground with it's belly torn open and all sorts of intestines hanging about. the hike guide told us it was probably some sort of hawk or something that had did it. ants were feeding on it. needless to say, i took a picture with my disposable camera.
i remember we all thought the hike instructor guy was really cute and everyone was very jealous when i got a blister from my new hiking boots and he put a band aid on for me and wrapped my foot up.
granny told me that i am her best friend. it makes me feel good but also guilty because i don't see her as much as i'm sure she would like.
time to go study.. |
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| i suck. |
[Jan. 1st, 2006|09:57 pm] |
dear livejournal,
it has become apparent to me that i am a terrible, terrible person.
day. after day. after day. i have been countlessly saying that i.will.do.my.shakespeare.project.
and guess what..?
i.have.not.done.my.shakespeare.project.
i have surpassed the qualifications of "lazy student". i haven't done my senior project. i haven't read my outside reading book or even cracked it open yet to start. i haven't started my french fill ins packet. oh yeah, and anything and everything i brought home from school to work on..has not been worked on. for two weeks, i have done no school work. instead i slept, i ate, i shopped, i got rained on, i stepped in puddles, i baked a cake, i cleaned my room, i drove around, i listened to shakira, and i did hundreds of other things..i even achieved nirvana..but not any school work.
you see, this doesn't work. it just does not work. first you feel like, "oh, make your own cliff notes, seems easy enough, i can do it later this will be a piece of cake"..
then it comes to "oh i still have a lot of time, but i don't need to start it now, plus i have too much other shit going on.."
then "oh my god it's due so soon i better work!"
and then the "oh thank god she extended it to after the break, i would have NEVER gotten this done in time.."
then "woo it's break, i've got all the time in the fucking world.."
then "woop, still another week, i will dedicate all my school work to this week or at least a great deal of it.."
then "hey wow, my senior project and everything else in my other classes is due in 2 days!"
and then "oh look i just spent more than 9 hours online NOT doing my shakespeare project!"
i'm telling you. i suck.
i suck XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXhellaXXXXXXXXxheckaXXXXXXXXXXXXXcoreXXXXXXcore coreXXXXXXXhellaXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXfucking starbucksXXXXXXXXXXXXXXheckaXXXXXXXXXXcorererereXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXsuck suck suckXXXXxXXshow go to the showXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXhellaXXXXXXXXXstraightedgeXXXXXXXXXXkeysXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXon the outsideXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxof the pantsXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxcoreXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXwind mill kick coreXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXhellaXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXheckaXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXstarbucksXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXX... hardcore
i suck hardcore. really bad.XxXsuckXxX core.
you're stupid, taylor. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2005|01:06 pm] |
somewhere between waking up to taking a shower and applying my daily micro-scrubbing face masque, (if you look closely you can actually see the small blue micro scrubbing balls, yeah it's pretty neat) i'm pretty sure that i have achieved nirvana..
pretty sure.
okay. back to shakespeare, seriously..no seriously. i can do this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2005|10:56 am] |
dear livejournal, i still need to finish my project. i only got an hour's worth of work done last night. i'm so terrible at this.
before i begin my sad slump to the solitude of sparknotes and soliloquies, i thought this was pretty silly, too..
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2005|02:02 pm] |
well, i did it.
over the past few days i have been concentrated on cleaning my room..and i think it has finally happened. after massive amounts of dusting, scrubbing, laundry, organizing, and perfect-if-ying.. it is clean.
of course the inside of the closet and under my bed is another story, although it's surprisingly not as messy of a story as you might think..but the space that is my room is clean. if you know me personally and know my room, you will fancy the changes it has made. people requested photos, so i will post photos of my beautiful abode.
( Read more... )
and then once again:
( Read more... )
and now to start my senior project..shakespeare is a fucking dick. |
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| come here |
[Dec. 29th, 2005|03:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | oh my star is fading.. | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | and i swerve | ] |
out of control. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|04:18 pm] |
i'm selling my stereo, original password phone, and old school polaroid i-zone scanner. if you're interested, please let me know because these items will not be around any longer than 3 days.
the stereo is a FWC10 Philips mini hifi system with 3 cd changer, 2 tape decks, digital tuning, compatible with burned cds, and has one of those little deals where you can make the music you're listening to sound optimal, jazz, rock, or techno. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2005|11:55 am] |
well tis christmas so i wish you all happy holidays!
of the gifts i received this morning,all of which made me extremely over joyed and plump with butterflies, i will note that i am now the proud owner of: the L word season 2!!
to name a few others, the new margaret cho dvd "assassin", a leather coat that i didn't ask for but really like and don't mean to personally hurt any of you by wearing who happen to be animal activists, and ralph.
i really need to begin my senior project..and i will once i'm done being excited about presents and the BAND ian and i are starting.
on friday i dusted my guitar and found all my cords and my pedal and hooked everything up only to find that i remembered many more songs and basics than i thought i would by simply turning the damn thing on.
you guys just wait. you thought the postal service and everything but the girl was cool? WE'RE TAKING MYSPACE BY STORM!
last night my parents and i went to visit my granny to make her oyster stew for christmas eve. her and i ended up getting into a debate about gay marriage and christianity in general. then my mom began to tell her about how diana's mom is a druid and granny said, "isn't that..that pagan religion the devil's religion or something?"
i love granny, i love granny with all my heart, she was my mother at most times in my life and helped in the raising of me, but you can't tell her anything, she's so damn stubborn..she's where my family thinks i get it from.
"how do we get rid of all the gays?..no one would know how to do sign language because all the lesbians would be gone..p.e. classes CANCELLED." |
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| lie, lie better next time. |
[Dec. 23rd, 2005|02:49 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | jimmy eat world, jack's mannequin, coco rosie, death cab | ] |
it's late. i should be in bed. i probably will be soon.
my knees are all bruised from slipping in angela's neighbor's hot tub.
she is leaving early early in the morning for her exotic cruise..so it was nice and very necessary to be able to spend some time with her before her departure. her mother gave me chocolate, the curtis tradition.. and it made me happy..probably about as happy as the boy in "a christmas story" when he finally gets the air rifle.
sigh.
who am i?
i wish i could remember.
i think i have a new years resolution in mind.
i know the news of wassailing has already been de-virginized on livejournal, but i thought i would put in my 2 cents, too. maybe even 3.
so we went wassailing and i had a good time. we sang many pagan songs for the arrival of the winter solstice and i even banged a tambourine on my thigh. it rained and the people in the neighborhood seemed to get really excited as we walked to the beat of a drum. i'm not pagan, but i really enjoyed the feeling of union and peace within our singing group.
don't fly fast,
oh pilot can you help me?
can you make this last?
this plane is all i got
so keep it steady now
because every inch you see is bruised.
bruised.
tomorrow i am finishing up my xmas shopping with ian. did i say that already? maybe in another entry previous to this one? i don't think i did but something strange makes me feel as though i did. well we're going to do that. so there livejournal, i said it.
people keep inviting me to get high.
i haven't spoken to my sister since august. i miss her. i hate that she was a bitch the last time we saw her, and i hate that both her and my family are so stubborn. sometimes i look at her myspace to see how she's doing. it looks like she's been making a lot of friends, drinking a lot, and smoking a lot. pretty much the same as when i last talked to her.
i'll scrub your floors
never be a bore
i'd tuck you in and
i do not snore
i'd wear your black eyes
bake you apple pie
we're going to my grandma's for christmas and i'm not really looking forward to it. i know i must sound like scrooge. i's not granny i have a problem with, i love granny, i even bought her the cutest little hat and the softest fuzzy socks in the world for xmas. i guess it's the whole aspect of my uncle and his wife coming, too. they always make me really uncomfortable. my uncle is very wealthy and sometimes i feel like he tries to rub it in our faces. i like it better when i can talk, it's muc more comfortable without them there.
at least my dad will be cooking. they're not very good at preparing food.
i come undone oh yes i do..
i miss my aunt in PA. she and i are really alike both in personality and looks..everyone in the family thinks it's weird how much i look like her when she was my age. the last time she was here she brought these cookies from her bakery she had started. she's very..hippy-like. the whole allure of the bakery was that everything was organic and vegan. she laughed at my jokes and we connect more than i do with any of my other family members i think. but we never see each other. so i miss her, too.
this entry was sort of random and i'm not so sure it really had a point. it's scattered and not exactly conventional.
i think i'll sleep now.
i wish we could open our eyes
to see in all directions at the same time,
oh what a beautiful view..
if you were never aware of what was around you,
and it is true what you say
that i live like a hermit in my own head
but when the sun shines again
i'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|06:33 pm] |
well, there isn't much to say.
i'm at angela's right now..i'm sitting in the darkness of her brother's room while her and her family eat kfc downstairs. i already had a large bowl of left over chili so i'm not really hungry.
today i went to the mall for more xmas shopping. i still haven't bought everything i need to for people..i think i'll try and get up early tomorrow to hit the places before swarms of americans get to them first and push me out of the way. it's wild out there, i'm telling you.
i watched e.t. with my mom today. i love that movie and hadn't seen it in a very long time..so much more made sense seeing it again and it brought tears to my eyes.
we finally got a tree after endless nights of saying we were going to get one but never getting around to it. my dad brought one home after work today. it's medium sized and unique with its own pine scent.
my mouth tastes like instant breakfast..that's what i drank before i came over here like a half hour ago. i really enjoy instant breakfast.
there's a lot i want to get done over break and i feel it's slipping by quickly. of course there's the pampering, i want my hair cut and i'd like to use the facial gift certificate i got for my birthday. non pampering would include my shakespeare project and reading a great deal, cleaning my room..any other productive festivities i can think of.
angela's back. she just called me a savage because i enjoy chicken wings WITH the bone, not without. her brothers like to harass me.. and i like it.
but like i said..there really isn't much to say..
except that angela just farted and literally giggled "tehehehe".. "chicken makes me spicy" |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|07:05 pm] |
Il fut un temps où rien n'était éteint
Où seul l'or de mon coeur donnait l'heure
Et alors j'étais fort, mais j'ai perdu la fleur et l'innocence
Dans ce décor je me sens perdu, rien n'a plus de sens
Mais j'ai encore quelques rêves et si tant est que j'aie le temps
J'irai caresser leurs lèvres
J'ai encore quelques rêves
Et si tant est que j'aie le temps j'irai caresser leurs lèvres
Il fut un temps où rien n'était éteint
Où seul l'or de mon coeur donnait l'heure
Et alors j'étais fort, mais j'ai perdu la fleur et l'innocence
Dans ce décor je me sens perdu, car rien n'a plus de sens
Si le temps avance trop
Je me sens de taille
Je suis un enfant
Je refuse le temps
Je regarde le ciel et cet arc-en-ciel qui m'apaise
Je regarde la lumière et puis j'erre dans mes rêves
Oublier le temps
Rester un enfant |
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| fiddy |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|03:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | gangsta | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | get rich or die tryin' soundtrack | ] |
dear friends, happy holidays and happy two weeks off. to express my undying love for you all, i thought i'd post a song by our favorite artist, 50 cent...because you mai bes' friendzzzzz...
Best Friend Lyrics
[Intro]
Yeah! It's my tape man, listen to my tape
WOO!!!
[Chorus]
If I was your best friend, I want you 'round all the time (I want you 'round me all the time)
Can I be your best friend, if you promise you'll be mine (Girl promise you'll be mine)
Please say he's just a friend (Uh huh) now girl let's not pretend (Come on)
Either he is or he ain't your man (Ha Ha!) please say he's just a friend
If I was your best friend, I want you 'round all the time (I want you 'round me all the time)
Can I be your best friend, if you promise you'll be mine (Girl promise you'll be mine)
Please say he's just a friend (Uh huh) now girl let's not pretend (Come on)
Either he is or he ain't your man (Ha Ha!) please say he's just a friend
If I was your best friend
[Verse 1]
First we get the talkin, then we get the touchin
If we get pass the phone games we'll be fuckin
I kiss like the french therefore my tongue in your ear
Do it like the dogs do it girl and pull on your hair
For me a different scenery just mean a different position
In the tub or on the sink I improvise now listen
In the chopper or on the jet join the mile high club
I'm no fool I know money can't buy me love
But I'm a different type of nigga that make sure that you know
Instead of a rose, there's a hundred dozen of those
See I see somethin special when I look in your eyes
With your legs way back I see this pussy is mine
If you ain't sure when I'm talkin I don't tell you no lies
But there's things that you say that have me wonderin why
When I don't say what I'm thinkin it don't mean that I'm shy
Got on that shit you picked out for me that's why I'm so fly
[Chorus]
If I was your best friend, I want you 'round all the time (I want you 'round me all the time)
Can I be your best friend, if you promise you'll be mine (Girl promise you'll be mine)
Please say he's just a friend (Uh huh) now girl let's not pretend (Come on)
Either he is or he ain't your man (Ha Ha!) please say he's just a friend
If I was your best friend, I want you 'round all the time (I want you 'round me all the time)
Can I be your best friend, if you promise you'll be mine (Girl promise you'll be mine)
Please say he's just a friend (Uh huh) now girl let's not pretend (Come on)
Either he is or he ain't your man (Ha Ha!) please say he's just a friend
If I was your best friend
[Verse 2]
While you in your bubble bath I'll come wash on your back
When you puttin on your lotion I can help you with that
I sit and think of things to say that may make you smile
Or give you gifts from my heart to reflect my style
Or slang I use when we build may change how you talk
And if I'm focused while I'm strokin I could change how you walk
There's a swagger that you calm but when you come from New York
I'm a hustler I just hustle in the things that I bought
Separate me from the rest, I feel like I'm the best
If there's a price to pay for feelin you I pay that twice
I'm as ghetto as it gets girl you know that's right
I ain't got nothin to hide baby I tell you my secrets
'Fore you end up bein 'round long enough to peep shit
I get closer to you, I mean closer than close
I get into you, after I take off my clothes
Girl I been into you, mentally long before
[Chorus]
If I was your best friend, I want you 'round all the time (I want you 'round me all the time)
Can I be your best friend, if you promise you'll be mine (Girl promise you'll be mine)
Please say he's just a friend (Uh huh) now girl let's not pretend (Come on)
Either he is or he ain't your man (Ha Ha!) please say he's just a friend
If I was your best friend, I want you 'round all the time (I want you 'round me all the time)
Can I be your best friend, if you promise you'll be mine (Girl promise you'll be mine)
Please say he's just a friend (Uh huh) now girl let's not pretend (Come on)
Either he is or he ain't your man (Ha Ha!) please say he's just a friend
If I was your best friend |
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| i'll do it over anytime |
[Dec. 15th, 2005|08:44 pm] |
well, i figure i should update.
i am currently making mashed potatoes for the party in government tomorrow.
they're boiling as i type.
i've been thinking about my livejournal "friends only"..just because. but then there's the people that read that i enjoy but lack livejournals, and also sometimes people don't always sign in before checking their friends page, so it would seem as though i never EVER post. so i'm not sure yet..but i am thinking about it.
today in country club mall i was on the phone with angela and this guy acted like i dropped something, but nothing was actually on the ground. i gave him a confused look and he pointed at my face. i kept walking. later on after purchasing some items i had to pass by him again, but this time i wasn't on the phone.
he waved me over and pointed at the ground and said, "i think you dropped your smile.."
i went to tower and saw that jimmy eat world has put out a new 5 song cd. i listened to it and was immediately seduced and purchased it.
there are post-its all over my bed. sometimes they make me feel rich.
i'm really glad tomorrow is friday. it marks not only the weekend but the 2 weeks off that we get. something i always look forward to eagerly every year.
i've been careless. & i've been selfish. & wrapped up in things i probably shouldn't be wrapped up in. & i didn't dial your number. & i haven't said the right things. & i've treated you like a little girl does an old doll she no longer has interest in. & i've been a bad friend.
and i'm sorry.
sigh. my leg hair has grown quite rapidly. i have not shaved since the cruise and it's grown to a great length and has become soft.
what a wonderful achievement i have made.
everyday i get a little closer, dear
will you love me darling, when i get there
i'll need sunshine
i'll need rest
pour us whiskey, water-kissed |
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pixieponcho's journal
